Quick Note About Our Dear Friend Corn on the Cob

So no matter how you eat it, no how matter how hard you try to be clean, not drip, keep the spaces between your teeth free and clear, with no spit spraying out of your mouth with every bite; no matter how hard you try, it is never eloquent eating corn on the cob.

But it sure tastes great =)

So I figure It’s better to be me ...

So I figure it's better to be me today than the guy who had to walk to get milk. Yup, nothing like walking to get some milk, from an actual cow, well an owner of a cow as cows somehow have not figured out how to sell themselves yet, go figure! (Italics mean sarcasm in this post from now on. Get it? It's pretty hard eh) and to think they're actually worshipped in some places? Moo-ya! Anyhow, it's nothing like walking to get milk down some desert road in let's say some little war-torn religiously run country called Iraqhanistan and boom you get hit by a small missile. Now you see, even though it's small it still kills you cause it's large when you really look at it, just small for missiles and f*ck me if there aren't some big-as$ missiles out there! Yeah so I figure it's better to be me than that guy.

Dreams and You

I can't talk to anyone for fear of judgement, for lack of understanding, for having a love so deep, that it is almost sacred or embarrassing depending on the day, that sharing is like ripping one's heart out with your hand.

It always starts the same way; I am stumbling along in life, thinking I am getting over it, getting over you, the idea of you, your touch, your smell, your stubble against my rosy cheek, your taste, our taste. And then …. well I dream of you; you here, you touching me, you smiling at me, you kissing me, you craving me once again.

I wake up disoriented, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I sit up and slowly come to the dark realization that you are not here, you aren't dreaming of me, you aren't. With a deep breath, I go about my monotonous existence, barely holding onto the dream. You know the one where you get a career, a boyfriend, a house, a 'real' life. My vision blurs whenever I try to contemplate what 'where I am' means, the point of it all, so to speak.

I start my day as normal, and slowly you begin to fade to the back of my mind as I repeat and design the day's tasks. Yet, you never really leave. I feel a heavy weight upon my heart that I don't remember yesterday, that dread this isn't the life I am supposed to be living.

I continue on in my day quietly but ensuring I am pleasant throughout the day so no one catches on, I make perhaps but a small mention of the dream, feign normalness and mock confusion and return to my work, and my thoughts.

You constantly remain in my head, you still own my heart, I'd be willing to buy it back at what I gave it to you for so much you take hold of my heart and soul still. I stay away from all tonight, choosing instead to be with my enclosed world, travelling towards the outdoors at just past 100 km/hr .

The music only puts me into an ever more introverted and introspective world, driving me to words, to spill my ramblings onto the white, to hope that one day, these words will help heal the void you left, because sometimes, words are all you have.

Ramblings, Energy and Belief in Dreams

I have been thinking a lot these days about energy.  More specifically how energy is drained, received, how it can be "stolen" from you, or "given" to you.  Lately, and I am not sure if this is due to some odd moon cycle or whether it is a seasonal change, but regardless I have been doing a lot of "soul-searching" if you will.  I find I am not happy; I am also not miserable; sobbing every day starting with breakfast (wouldn't it be hard to eat while sobbing little driblets of salty tears and snot into your bowl of Kashi cereal??) Anyhow, lately I find that my energy is being sucked out and replaced with other's negative rants, raves, feelings, you name it.


So I have decided to remove myself from those who drag my sunshine flavoured energy out of me and concentrate on me, making me happy, being positive, setting and achieving goals. I realized over the last few months that something needs to change, I feel my aura is not its usual and it is beginning to seep into all aspects of my life; work, friendships, family life, my love life and even into my financial life.


I realized shortly after Gramp's death, that I need to concentrate on me, on getting my Zen energy back. It seems that the last few years, my soul has slowly been sucked dry of all my youthful passion, my normal wild imagination and zestful creativity slowly seeping out the seams, until I woke up recently to discover it was gone.

So upon much soul searching over many introspective days and nights, I have decided to once again spend more time writing, reading and taking long walks gazing at all the trees and flowers and animals again. I will spend more time laughing with friends instead of worrying about foes, and will spend more time creating a home rather than trying to hold up the ship at work.


This year, my 28^th year is about me. Me alone, me as a friend, me as a sister and a daughter, me. Somehow, someway this year, I will see my dreams start to come to fruition.