So I realized that I have been terribly lazy with my blog, always procrastinating till the last minute. So here I am writing again, and to be honest, I missed my blog, even as short as it has been around. Today I felt it absolutely crucial I pick up the pen, figuratively speaking that is, as I sit here typing this on a laptop. But nonetheless, here I am procrastinating on even starting an actual entry. Tis the Lil One style.
Today I write on a more somber note. I had a co-worker today who received some terrible news, that her mother only has 3 months to live. I have not in many years (13 to be exact) heard grief that real, that pained. It literally shook me to the core, I could feel her suffering deep within my heart. It made me realize life is so short, one second, you are sitting amidst all in your life, taking all you love for granted (sidenote: as we all do most days whether we think we do or not. Just assume that tomorrow, your friends and family will just be there for and with you, and tangent over.) and the next, with just one phone call, your life changes forever. Where no matter how hard you try, you cannot make sense of it, cannot understand how this could happen in your life. I doubt she will ever forget where she was when she first heard the news.
As Nietzsche said, "It is not so much the suffering as the senselessness of it that is unendurable."
So perhaps this is time for me to reflect^, that though there is much in my life right now I would change, perhaps I should count my blessings and be thankful that all my loved ones are still with me. And that perhaps life isn't quite the horror (or whore depending on your day) we imagine it is.
So take each day as it comes, try to breath in that air, tell all you love that you do love and appreciate them. (Yes I know, this is quite the little positive speech coming from me ha, but seriously.)
Cherish each moment with those you love, as life can pass by so quickly. A train speeding down a track in the middle of a mountain, green pine trees surrounding the dull iron, the rocky crags to the side. The night is a perfect black, the only sound the train`s lone whistle, the light from the engine is blurred as you stand and feel the lone messenger of the midnight hour.
Life is but a whisper, let the words flow!
- Lil One
Aww! That one made me sad. I'm sorry to hear that Steph! And I'll be sending prayers for your friend and her mum. It is very true how we just assume things will be status quo... and then that's when things hit!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the texts this eve!
Stephanie, this is a wonderful entry. I am sorry to hear about your friends mom. I can't imagine what it would be like.
ReplyDeleteI think your reflection on the moment is well articulated in your writing. I hope to write this well one day!