I feel like I am in the middle of a life shift. People are leaving my life, I am forcing some out and I am left in the void between. I wander around this life with a purpose, at least a purpose that the world thinks is right if you will, but lately it doesn't feel like it's my purpose. I feel these days that there is more to life than working, paying debt, working, paying more debt, paying car payments, phone bills, credit card bills, the taxman, working, sleep. Repeat.
Is there something more to life than this?? I took a drive today to a provincial park and took a short walk and watched the sunset. I felt content in the moments preceding the sunset and wondered aloud to myself if we could even live simply again if we tried?
The world is so complex now, so connected. Have you ever ignored or turned off your phone for more than 24hrs and not been asked "Where were you? What were you doing? I couldn't reach you. Why didn't you call me? etc. etc."
We are so connected today that I believe we are losing touch as human beings in relation to each other. We talk for hours texting, emailing, facebooking etc., that we lose touch, literally.
Sometimes I just feel like I am falling. But into a void, no crash landing to break my bones or take my life, just floating aimlessly with an an apparent aim through the void our modern life has caused.
And yes I know this is somewhat hypocritical considering I am a large 'geek' if you will. With my iPod, my laptop, my xbox etc. but I just feel like it needs to take a backseat to the simple pleasures. How many people read almost daily? Weekly even? Besides websites, magazines and work related material? How many read for the pure joy of a story? Not even 100 years ago, this was one of the main forms of entertainment and now most people are proud that they haven't read a book in years. How sad I feel for them? Not knowing the pure joy of being sucked into a world that is not your own, standing beside strong protagonists fighting their battles, mental or physical. Drifting out of 2009 and into 1943 or 1867 or even as far back as 100 B.C.
I realize there was no real thread or theme to this post, just a bunch of discontent mumblings trying to piece together why it is that I feel so apathetic, so lost, so loathe to take part at times. What is it that gives me my drive? What gives you yours? What makes the world a happier place? Can the world be a happier place?
I end my rambling, incoherent post with lyrics from Dave Matthews:
Sometimes I feel like I'm falling
Fall back again, fall back again,
Fall back again, fall back again
Oh, life it seems a struggle between
what we see and what we do
Well I'm not going to change my ways
just to please you or appease you
Inside a crowd, five billion proud
willing to punch it out
Right, wrong, weak, strong
ashes to ashes all fall down
Look around about this round about
this merry-go-round and around
Well If at all God's gaze upon us falls
it's with a mischievous grin, look at him
Forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
our emotions can be swept away
Forget about being guilty
we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
Late at night with TV's hungry child
his belly swells
Well, for the price of a coke or a smoke
I could keep alive those hungry eyes
Man, take a look again, take a look again
Eveyday things change
Basically they stay the same
Forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
our emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty
we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
and your cup is overflowing
You seek up on emotion,
sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
for him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not
going, "Ha ha, ha ha"
(Say, oh say)
Oh look at me in my fancy car
and my bank account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
into my grave, God knows I'd save and save
Man, take a look again, take a look again
things you have collected, well in the end piles up
to one big nothing, one big nothing at all
Forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
our emotions can be swept away
Intentions are not wicked, don't be tricked into thinking so
And soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
and your cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
for him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not
going, "Ha ha, ha ha"
Fall back again, fall back again
Fall back again, fall back again
Fall back again, fall back again,
Fall back again, fall back again
Oh, life it seems a struggle between
what we see and what we do
Well I'm not going to change my ways
just to please you or appease you
Inside a crowd, five billion proud
willing to punch it out
Right, wrong, weak, strong
ashes to ashes all fall down
Look around about this round about
this merry-go-round and around
Well If at all God's gaze upon us falls
it's with a mischievous grin, look at him
Forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
our emotions can be swept away
Forget about being guilty
we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
Late at night with TV's hungry child
his belly swells
Well, for the price of a coke or a smoke
I could keep alive those hungry eyes
Man, take a look again, take a look again
Eveyday things change
Basically they stay the same
Forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
our emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty
we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
and your cup is overflowing
You seek up on emotion,
sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
for him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not
going, "Ha ha, ha ha"
(Say, oh say)
Oh look at me in my fancy car
and my bank account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
into my grave, God knows I'd save and save
Man, take a look again, take a look again
things you have collected, well in the end piles up
to one big nothing, one big nothing at all
Forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
our emotions can be swept away
Intentions are not wicked, don't be tricked into thinking so
And soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
and your cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
for him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not
going, "Ha ha, ha ha"
Fall back again, fall back again
Fall back again, fall back again
No comments:
Post a Comment